Cheaters

Tomorrow is CHEAT MEAL DAY!

In honor of September 1st and *Cheat Meal Day* I want to write you a little blurb about cheat meals and WHY they are so important. Don't roll your eyes... it won't take long.

Most people tell you to have a cheat meal once a week ... I've even heard 2x a week... which is a total nope for me. There is no way I could come back from splurging 2x a week. I actually chose to wait an entire month for this particular cheat day because I wanted to put a significant distance between it and my old way of eating. I wanted to have some strength behind my determination... I needed to feel like I could walk away when it was over and get right back to work.

Here's the deal... a cheat meal - high in carbs and high in calories - will actually jump-start your metabolism. Listen up folks... I'm about to drop some knowledge on you... there are 2 hormones in your body related to this sort of thing - leptin and ghrelin. I read all about them and it literally blew my mind... how have I not known these things in my adult life?? I can't even put it all into one blog... it would take too long to explain it and honestly I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all. Regardless... I've provided a couple of links for you to read up on it yourself... and you should... if you  struggle with your weight at all. In a nutshell leptin signals your brain to inhibit hunger so that you don't feel the need to eat when your body doesn't need the energy - the levels of leptin in your body will go up or down based on your caloric intake. When you lose weight your leptin levels go down... which makes your body crave more food - which it turn makes it even more difficult to continue to lose weight. Ghrelin is the "hunger hormone" that stimulates your appetite.
All About Leptin
All About Ghrelin
So why did I enter into the land of hormones and wreck your brain? Because of the cheat meal. Studies show that cheat meals replenish these hormone levels back to their normal state - which is super important because you want to eat when you are hungry and stop when your body has had enough. These hormones, at normal levels in your body, do the right thing all on their own. Drastic changes, such as overeating or dieting (taking in significantly less calories) cause the hormone levels to go wonky... your cheat meal will reset the balance. You want these hormones doing exactly what they were meant to do - otherwise your body will literally be working against you when are trying to lose weight!

As if that isn't enough... why else should you cheat? Because your brain AND your body need a break! All of that worry and calorie calculating and meal planning and watching the scale fluctuate can wreak havoc on your mental state. It's important for you to take time to just indulge, otherwise it's exhausting and you'll come to resent everything about it. You're also going to need a way to maintain focus and stick to your 80/20 or 90/10 plan... however you're working it... it's tough. Knowing there's a light at the end of the tunnel makes it easier on you to go harder through that 80% or 90% and give it your all.

One more reason why a cheat meal is OKAY... your body will burn MORE calories in the 24 hours after your cheat meal than you have in awhile. Throw some bread on that carb deprived system and it's going to throw a party up in there! Your whole system is going to be like "OH... what do we do with this madness!!!!??? BURN IT!" And your body will be a wheelin' dealin' carb crushing machine. You are forcing your body to burn those calories and re-booting your metabolism instead of allowing your body to adjust to the lower calorie intake ... which can lead to a plateau... and NO BODY in this room wants that.

Here are the rules... well, here are my rules...
2 hours. That's the time frame... you get 2 hours to eat whatever you're going to include as your "meal". So basically... you best have you a plan.
Don't die. Don't eat till you puke or eat so much you feel like you might die. It still needs to be worth it.
Now... if I ate a cheat meal each WEEK I would be a little more careful with my choices... but since it's been a month... I'm eating what I want... no regrets.

So, as I mentioned before a couple of friends asked if I could provide my weekly menu ahead of time. Our menu is a bit different, I guess, because I don't cook EVERY night. I typically do cook Saturday and Sunday evenings and then we eat those leftovers Monday & Tuesday. Every other Wednesday is my "Shopping Day" - I go to Walmart & Harris Teeter (for produce and sales) and then I'm whipped so shop day is also eat out day 'cause Mama ain't cookin'! It's also a bit different than most families because Clint is a vegetarian (he does eat fish and shrimp) and Renn and I are not... so sometimes I will make 2 meals ... but I try to make sure one is pretty simple ;)... for instance Saturday on this menu I'll be making Clint's dinner but throwing mine and Renn's in the crockpot.
Let me know if you have any questions!

Meal Plan for the week...
Breakfast: Breakfast Quesadillas (Clint) / LadyBoss Shakes (J)
Lunches: Vegetarian Taco Jar (Clint) / so this is the basic recipe I follow but I get low carb tortillas, use reduced fat cheese and greek yogurt cream cheese to tone it down Chicken Enchiladas (J)
Snacks: veggie tray from Costco (yes, I'm cutting corners!), nuts, fresh fruit, rice cakes with nut butter and protein balls... I'll use this recipe Monster Protein Balls but replace the M&M's with dark chocolate chips.
Sunday: Mediterranean Potato Hash
Monday: Salmon Burgers & Stir Fry veggies
Tuesday: Sunday night left-overs
Wednesday: Grocery pick-up - dinner out!
Thursday: Honey Garlic Shrimp over Wild Rice with roasted broccoli & zucchini
Friday: Thursday night left-overs, add stir fry veggies and/or protein pasta if needed
Saturday: Lemon Garlic Orzo w/ Roasted Veggies (Clint) / Crockpot Beef & Broccoli (J and R)
Sunday: Baked Eggplant Parmesan with Salad

Operation DWS

What up Day 27...
I'm sadly here to say that as of this morning I am only down 23.4 pounds. I try not to get to down about it... however, I can't say that it doesn't put a damper on my days. I kept telling myself over and over again today that 20+ pounds is still REALLY good for less than a month... but it still sucks to see the scale move UP instead of down.

The Lorek household has been dealing with some things... not fun things... and it's been pretty difficult to stay on track where food is concerned. I am a full blown stress eater... I eat my emotions. Over the last couple of weeks I have been battling the stress as well as the urge to indulge. I have fought every step of the way and some days it takes everything I've got in me... there were days I went to bed early, days I had to chomp ice until my tongue went numb, many days I had to brush my teeth and find something - ANYTHING - to do with my time other than sit around wishing I could stuff my face.

I did a quick google search of the impact of stress on weight loss  *really it's weight GAIN* ... I mean we all know one can influence the other and after that it's just a game of tug of war.
Boom... right away - top 5 ways stress impacts weight management.
1- Stress makes in harder to get good sleep. I don't know about you but I'm a holy terror when I don't my beauty sleep. I am cranky and annoyed and you might as well just throw my willpower right out the window. I am not a good person after a restless night, nor do I have the motivation to do anything positive for anyone... much less myself.
2- Stress increases cravings. Pasta, pizza, potatoes... check, check, check. All the doughy goodness? Double check. When I am stressed I want all the things and I have zero control of where my mind wonders. It's pretty much like a slide show of junk food.
3- Stress contributes to digestive disorders. Excuse me, what? So not only is my mind working against me but my body is also working against me in some stress-induced refusal to absorb nutrients and mix up my appetite hormones! Life is so not fair.
4- Stress makes it difficult to stay active. Of course it does. Stress makes you depressed, folks... well, at least that's what it does to me. I feel bloated and groggy and foggy and yuck. Pair that with zero motivation from lack of sleep and tummy troubles from the digestive disorders and who wants to go outside and enjoy the bright sunshiny day with a brisk walk... most likely not this girl. "Leaky gut syndrome" ... (barf)... no thanks... I'll just stay right here on my couch.
5- Stress can lead to  brian-fog, moodiness and low willpower. Oh... here it is... the icing on the cake. The triple threat. Not only do you feel like you are going to poo your pants, but you're craving everything you've ever seen in life, you are running on fumes from the lack of sleep and can't move because stress makes it difficult to stay active and NOW... you can no longer think straight and you have no desire to carry on my wayward son.

... don't you cry no more...
basically we need to find a way to DE-stress pronto. No one needs all of that negativity in their life. I need my path clear and positive and moving FORWARD. Girl, wash your face!!!! For real though. Get right with the Lord. Call your Mama. Get rid of all the things that don't bring you joy. Visit your Gramma. Get messy with your kids. Leave your significant other an epic love note. Take a friend flowers. Donate all the clothes that make you feel bad about your body. Make a playlist of your favorite songs and take a drive. Go to your favorite place in the world and take a deep breath. Finish that book. Erase your "To Do List" and start fresh. Find a way to smile every day. Let go and let God.
I am going to continue to work hard at being better, getting better, de-stressing... or at least finding a much more appropriate way to handle stress. I need to find a way to give it all to God at night and wake up each more refreshed and ready to give it all I've got. I definitely need all the help I can get and I definitely do NOT need my mind and body working against me! So operation down-with-stress is a go.

"The day she let go of the things that were weighing her down, was the day she began to shine the brightest."

- Katrina Mayer

Info/Google Credit: https://www.runtastic.com/blog/en/effects-of-stress-on-weight-loss-and-hormones/
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I don't really have any crazy amazing recipes for you this week - it's a bit of a mash up of this and that. I do plan to make Skinny Lasagna Rolls and Mediterranean Potato Hash and just got done making Fiesta Chicken in the crockpot for dinner tonight and the next couple of nights - I do sub in Greek yogurt cream cheese and add wild rice and quinoa after cooking.

I have had a few people ask me about posting a menu and recipes prior to the week so they would have time to grocery shop and make the same recipes. I will plan to work on that and get something up this coming weekend... hopefully with a little more regularity than I have been.

Shedding Doubt... and pounds

Hello my beautiful friends...
I am FINALLY over my emotional cray-cray funk! Thanking Jesus for that. No one needs that kind of madness in their life ... and you will all be relieved to know that Renn has also survived. However, I did move his therapy appointment up to tomorrow morning to discuss his medicine... after several messages from his teacher over the last two days. Positive thoughts and/or prayers are always greatly appreciated. You will also be happy to know I stayed on track... the entire crying wreck of a hormonal mess time. That’s a NSV if I ever saw one!! NSV = Non-scale victory!!

But guess what was a SV... this morning I weighed and I could have cried tears of joy. It's Day 21 and I have lost 24.2 pounds. It feels EPIC. Several years ago I lost 77 pounds - I refer to that often because I was super successful with my weight loss, motivated and I stuck to it for a looooong time - put simply, it changed my life. I began that journey with Advocare's 24 Day Challenge - in 24 days I managed to lose about 23 pounds... so why is that significant you ask?? Because for the FIRST time since that Challenge I have stuck with something for MORE than 20 days AND for the FIRST time I lost MORE weight than I did on the Challenge without doing the Challenge whhhhhhhhat?!?!?!?! Sorry... I know that was pretty wordy but hopefully you were able to pull my point out of there somehow. Basically, I'm kicking butt. Things are changing quickly - I'm already moving around with a little more ease - my body isn't so achey and creaky... my clothes are fitting without a fight... my pants are falling down A LOT... and ya'll THREE people (other than my husband) told me they NOTICED. [insert heart soaring here]. Another thing that typically happens as the weight begins to steadily fall off is people start asking "HOW?"... they want to know what the trick is or what diet plan I'm following... "how are you doing it??" The trick is there really is no trick... you have to find what works for your body. I went through different plans that did not work, however... for my body what always works, without fail... as long as I stick to it... is low carb, high protein, moderate fat. I'm loosely following the LadyBoss program which focuses on a fiber/carb ratio and low sugar intake - it also focuses on daily exercise... I haven't gotten all the way there yet. I track my calories using MyFitnessPal (add me - jlorek731) and keep my count between 1000-1200 daily. I try to drink at least 1 gallon of water a day. And finally - actually the HARDEST part of it all, I stay motivated. I use this blog and whoever my readers might be along with social media (Facebook/Instagram) to keep me accountable. Even if no one interacts with me I still feel some sense of accountability to the great big world out there... people are always watching. I follow people on IG that share healthy recipes and healthy living tips and I read motivational quotes alllllllll the time, it's kinda my thing. I lean on friends when I'm struggling and I have the sweetest friends that message me encouragement throughout the week. I also have these "little" rewards I have chosen for myself for every 10 pounds I lose... they definitely help me stay excited and keep me on track. At 10 pounds I bought myself a set of workout clothes, at 20 pounds I bought myself this amazing little bluetooth keyboard I am typing on in order to blog anywhere... and at 30 pounds (only 5.2 pounds to go!!) I plan to take myself in for a little pampering... something I definitely neglect when I feel self-conscious. We are planning a trip to a water park in just under 2 weeks and I am so excited about not feeling absolutely hideous in a bathing suit... I'll just be a tiny bit hideous ... but not enough that it keeps me from the fun! I also plan to have family pictures taken in November... yet another thing I have avoided due to my own insecurities. I have a dress... it’s my goal dress and I really, really hope I get to wear it for my pictures... that would be everything. I bought it TWO YEARS AGO- nuts, right? But I fell in love and HAD to have it... only it didn’t come in my size. I bought it with the thought that ONE DAY I would get into that dress and flit around feeling all adorable and princess-ie. I’ll get there ... soon.

With every step of this journey I feel like I'm shedding the doubt and insecurities along with the pounds... it’s exhilarating.

My shopping days are Wednesdays... I know that is a bit weird but it fits our budget so we do what we do. Starting Thursday I will be eating Skinny Buffalo Chicken Dip with Flax Seed Nutthins for lunch and snacking on caramel rice cakes with Peanut Butter & Co.'s Dark Chocolate Dreams along with egg cups... I did this recipe for the first time last week and I loved them. I sprayed my regular sized muffin pan and then used just under 1/3 cup egg whites + a little bit of low fat mozzerella cheese + Ranch popcorn seasoning... yes, you are reading that correctly and I baked them at 450 for about 15-20 minutes. This week though, I plan to throw some broccoli and cheddar in there to get a veggie snack ... to maybe balance out that caramel dark chocolate goodness a bit. We shall see... but I bet it will be delish!
What's something on your menu plan this week? Post a comment... I need some comments in my life.

Thanks for being here with me!
-J

Juggling Jello

Day 17
Ya’ll don’t even know how much I’ve struggled this week. For the life of me I cannot get my life right... I don’t know what going on. It took me Sunday - Monday - Tuesday - AND - Wednesday to get that extra weight off even though I never wavered, not once. FINALLY - this morning was down 18 pounds. That’s almost the weight of a car tire. Brings all new meaning to a “spare tire around the middle”... though I have yet to lose mine.
Back to my mid-life crisis. I’m an emotional/stressed/over-dramatic wreck of a housewife/mother. I cry every afternoon- not ugly cry... but my eyes definitely lose their ability to keep the wetness at bay. I haven’t felt good enough at anything - I feel spread out and like everything is crumbling around me. I’m juggling Jello. I’m not being a good enough mom. Renn has had to be off his ADHD meds this week and I am quite literally turning into a closet rocker because of it... you know that girl that sits in the closet and rocks back and forth while mumbling nonsense... yes, that girl. He goes NON-STOP all day long, needs food every 5 mins and yes, that is quite literal, needs attention, needs things to do, needs help, needs all the things ... and then around 5 he crashes emotionally for about 1-2 hours. At that point it’s hysterics - like I’ve never seen before... he is emotionally distraught and clinging to the thought of a scary picture he saw like it might climb out of the wall and eat us all for dinner. It’s that real to him and he has to be ON ME for the duration of the meltdown. Afterwards he goes to sleep, sometimes as early as 7:30pm. He is absolutely exhausting me. Don’t get me wrong, I feel for him I do - my heart breaks for him - that his little mind has to go through all these changes in one day. He’s obviously exhausting himself as well. Regardless, we are both distraught and have moved into some sort of co-dependent co-existence. To moms out there don’t be judgy, I just might punch you. It’s been tough and we’ve dealt the best way we know how. Don’t worry - Renn has therapy next week about his meds and we will get this figured out. We will be okay... but until then I’m gonna love him through it even if he gives me all the gray hairs. Luckily I have a village and his grandparents - whom he loves utterly and completely - make the time to love him through it too... when Mama reaches the closer rocker point. Even though that got a little personal I feel like you can understand a bit more about where I’m coming from this week and I wanted to share something... I have a couple other personal situations going on that I cannot share which are also taking up hot messy jumbled up scribble space in my head. Needless to say I’m FRIED. I came within an INCH of eating an I-don’t-give-a-crap meal yesterday. I was at my whit’s end and somewhere in the middle of the chaos my brain told my body that food would fix it. “This is too hard”... it said. “Pizza and pasta will make you feel happy”... it whispered. I, very realistically, had to shake it off. I will not, because some part of me held on by a thread and knew that it would actually make me feel far worse. I’d feel like a failure and it would close the deal on absolutely everything going up in flames this week... I cannot, will not give in. I pushed and I had to push HARD to get through that moment... even when my original dinner plans went up in smoke. I found another way, rather than an excuse.

I tell you what... this week has truly beat me to my knees... today was actually the icing on the cake and wouldn't I love to dive right in to a big fluffy, sugary cake. No... no, I wouldn't because what would that do? Then I'd be the closet rocker that has frosting all over her face crying into a cake... and who wants that? Not this girl. This evening Renn begged for a pizza, a real pizza... and it made him smile through the tears tonight so I got the kiddo a pizza and I came home and whipped myself up a cauliflower pizza. Remember - no excuses. My head is aching, my eyes burn from tearing up and my body is all done with this week. Trust me, I know I'm blessed and I'm not trying to be "Debbie Downer" - I truly want 99% of my blog posts to be upbeat and inspiring... but I also don't want to be a fake. I go through rough times and confusing times and times when I can be a real jerk. I want you to see it all - I want you to relate to me and share your hard moments too... and never, ever feel alone. I felt alone this week and then proceeded to bat that thought right out of my head. The moral of this story is through the week I kept my promise to myself and stayed strong in relation to healthy eating, I also didn't run out of the house screaming... not even once. I took TINY... minuscule steps forward... but I did move forward and that is everything. 

Every wonder what success looks like at the end of a hard week? Tonight... this is the image of success... I'm not eating regular Papa John's pizza... I'm making a better choice. Still... after my brain went through every excuse in the book I still chose to do better.

And I know most of you have this recipe... but in case you didn't here's the simplified version.
Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Prepare a pan with parchment paper.
2 cups riced cauliflower - steamed / or shred up half a large head of cauliflower and cook in the microwave 7-8 minutes + 1 egg + 2 tsp parmesan cheese + 1 cup mozzerella + seasonings (I usually do salt/pepper, Italian seasoning and garlic powder) - mix well & spread out THIN onto your prepared pan. Spray with cooking spray (I use coconut oil spray) and bake for 10-15 minutes - it should be browning on top.
Remove from oven and add sauce + toppings then bake another 10 minutes, until cheese is bubbly.
Your welcome :).

Here's to the weekend, ya'll!
-J

Staying Focused

I struggled last night... hard.

I'm not sure why - there's no real reason behind it other than I sat down on the couch to watch a movie. Back when I lost all that weight years ago I literally had to give up TV. I couldn't stop myself from overindulging on snacks while glued to the tube so I had to walk away. Almost like an alcoholic couldn't go to a bar to hang out with friends and watch a ball game - the indulgence would be inevitable. At that time in my life I dove back into reading, which I still to this day can't get enough of - it's one of my happy places... right there, smack in the middle of a book. I would set myself up with my kindle and a ice cold water with a straw - pop that straw in my mouth and read. I would guzzle water... so much water that I wouldn't feel hungry or like snacking. Basically I conditioned myself to not eat while reading. Apparently, I STILL struggle with television - it's a good thing I don't watch that much of it - a Netflix show binge from time to time but those are few and far between. Usually if it's on I'm doing other things - laundry, cleaning, food prep... so I don't have to worry about the urges, but last night they raged. I had already eaten dinner and my fill of calories for the day - yet I still felt as though I was "dying" for something to snack on. I wasn't hungry I just had the overwhelming urge to snack, which is actually worse for me. Hunger... I know what to do with that... I can tell the difference between board hunger and actual hunger and honestly I can ignore both, but the urge to snack killllllllllls me. I settled on a small handful of Moon Cheese and ended up just turning the movie off. I walked around frustrated and unsettled for a bit - I don't know why I didn't get out of the house and go on a walk or do something more productive I guess I was just in my feelings about it. Regardless... I persevered and did not give in.

After ALL of that... I woke up 1.8 pounds heavier... yeah, you heard me - I GAINED weight. It was crazy because I felt it before I even stepped on the scale - I felt heavier. Insert mind blown emoji here. What in the actual heck happened? But that's the breaks, ya'll - that's what happens sometimes, our weight fluctuates for a multitude of reasons and some of them we can't even explain. That's why the masters tell you the scale lies and not to weigh every day - I get it I do. But it's my scale and my weight so I do what I want. I went down 15 pounds in 10 days - that's like 1.5 pounds a day... which shouldn't be real life. Yes, I am extremely large and yes, most of it is water weight and bloat... but that's still a crazy number. Me being up this morning does not mean that I failed yesterday, it doesn't mean that I'm about to gain all the weight back or that I shouldn't eat anything today. It's just part of the journey. I've learned through all the ups and downs that I need to keep my eye on the prize - keep my focus steady and not waiver.

I just wanted to come on here and let you know that everyday is not perfect - full of butterflies and pounds that drip off and carb-less dreams. I have bumps in the road and I have to do mental resets from time to time. But the difference in me today that wasn't there months ago is I keep moving forward. I'm not going to let the disappointment of weight gain steal my motivation, not one bit. I almost RAN to the kitchen to start my shake and fill up my water jug - I needed it to reassure me that I have this under control. I was soothed by the routine of it all and the fact that I wanted to keep moving forward without having to talk myself out of going to Starbucks. Before I would have thrown my hands up in defeat and thought oh why not - I'll just have a cheat day like everyone else - but thank the stars in heaven I have a cheat day set AND guess what... today is not that day.

Keep moving forward, folks. Try not to focus on numbers or calories so much that it consumes your journey. Stay focused on your routine, the changes - making healthier choices, moving more, drinking more water... and if you stumble along the way the best way to move forward is to get up, dust off the guilt and take another step.

Today is a new day! Enjoy yourself :)
-J

ONE DAY

Day 10
I did it again... I started post after post and deleted them because I let the doubt creep in... who would want to read what I have to say... do I actually have anything important to say... I'm not good enough for this. Today, though... today I will follow through. Today, I will remember I'm not doing this "for readers" necessarily, although, if you are in fact reading this I adore you and I thank you... but at the end of the day I am doing this for me. Today, it's about the things that keep me going - which is writing about my journey and the things that bring me JOY - which just so happens to be writing about my journey. Would you look at that... seems as though I should just write.

This morning I was exactly, to the decimal, 15.0 pounds down. I smiled. It felt good. I was excited to tell someone, although, it's not about the number of likes I get in response or the praise... it's mainly just about doing what I said I was going to do, sticking with something and succeeding. Fighting through the headaches, the cravings and the fatigue has been tough - thankfully, I have an amazing support system and they help me keep my head in the game. When all else fails, I lean on them. I am working for this, I'm earning it and it feels good - sometimes, that alone is enough to keep me going... sometimes it's not. That's why I tend to surround myself with those wonderful people in my corner or with dream boards and positive affirmations and weight loss support FB groups and it's also why I put so much on Facebook about my journey - for accountability. I need someone out there expecting me to push through, to stop thinking about cupcakes and block those delicious looking pizza ads, to guzzle my water, to push this hefty body into workout mode. Someone out there needs me to do this ... and maybe it's because they need to know they can do it too. THAT inspires me - knowing that someone out there might be letting their own doubts and insecurities keep them from reaching for a better life and somehow my journey may help them see that they are not alone, that they can push through. If I can give up sweet tea and pass on the pasta and make my son cookies without eating even one crumb YOU can do it too!

So far this change in eating habits hasn't been crazy hard, trust me, it's not been super easy either... but nothing awful. I didn't cry, I didn't yell and scream and whine - I put on my XXXXXL panties and handled it. Hopefully... at the end of all this I'll put on my Medium panties and handle things. Basically, I didn't die. I'm here... feeling better and brighter and stronger with every day that passes. However, what they don't tell you about losing 77 pounds and then gaining (A LOT) of it back is that you'll feel like it should go faster when you amp up to go at it again. You look at yourself every single day sideways in the mirror and expect your reflection to look like it did when you lost 77 pounds. Let me clue you in... you will be disappointed. Literally, today I did this... just like yesterday... and I thought to myself "I've lost 15 pounds! Why don't I look smaller!?!" because you don't... not yet. It's so much water weight and bloat and it just takes awhile... it feels like forever. I have to remind myself it's only been 10 DAYS... calm down, it will happen. It still feels like a little bit of a let down deep inside because you're all gung-ho and READY - you are vibrating with change and motivation and yaaaasssss girl! But that same old saying goes for everyone - you didn't gain it in a week, you won't lose it in one either. I had to run back to my dream board because I needed to know exactly how long it was going to be before someone noticed. I found this:

18 more days and I'll notice... I'll SEE a difference. 46 more days and YOU will. But... did you catch that last part too --- ONE DAY. All it takes is ONE DAY to make a difference inside - I can't see it but I can feel it. I'm going to make my outside match my inside. I will get there. I am transforming my body in more ways than one and I'm showing the little one that watches what a healthy Mama looks like. All it took was ONE DAY for me to step up to the plate and decide to be different, decide that I am worth more and I deserve more - so does my family, I am enough and I can be happy.

Speaking of healthy habits ---- It takes 21 days to form a habit... and since I can be a bit stubborn I'm giving myself 31 days to form mine. I will not have a cheat meal until September 1st... I repeat... I will not have a cheat meal until September 1st. During that meal I will have all the things. After that meal I will probably want to die - cheat meals tend to 1)make you sleep 2) tear up your stomach in more than one way, and 3) ruin the rest of your day. But... they also tend to remind you why you don't cheat regularly. I'm just putting my cheat meal date out there into the open air... you know... for accountability purposes. If I say it on a social platform I feel like all eyes are on me and it keeps me in check during those moments where I really want to slip into the closet and drink a Mountain Dew... I just think to myself... they'll knowwwww. So I grab my water and chug... it'll pass.

Now, whooooo wants a recipe?? I know, I know... you're all just here for the recipes. That's why I'm here anyway - cooking is my jam. Over the next 2 weeks here are a few of the recipes I will be using:

Vegetarian Fajitas for Clint and I'll add in Fajita Chicken for me and the kid.
Baked Parmesan Pork Chops & Vegetables for the whole family, Clint will have extra roasted veggies.
Parmesan Squash and Zucchini Bake with Salmon.
Oven Chicken & Cheese Quesadillas for me and Renn - but I'll use greek yogurt cream cheese, reduced fat cheese and Xtreme Wellness! High Fiber / Low Carb tortillas for mine.

I will also be making my new favorite thing - PROTEIN WAFFLES!
I use 1/2 cup Kodiak mix + 1/2 cup cold water + 1 tsp oil (I use coconut) + 1/3 scoop protein powder. I top it with 1 TBSP peanut butter and a tiny bit of raw, unfiltered honey. It totally feels like a cheat.

No worries, ya'll - we got this!
-J

Let’s get it started in here...

Day 1
Yesterday... I turned 36 😳. Like up and over halfway through my 30’s... I’m almost 40. I feel old. I feel achy and grumpy and stagnant. My skin feels tight and uncomfortable. My clothes don’t fit right, especially my undergarments - they make me feel like a stuffed sausage, as cliche as that may sound, it’s unequivocally true.  I can’t sleep though the night anymore because my shoulders ache and my arms/hands go to sleep after losing circulation. I’m big and bloated and my body is telling me, in more than one way, that it absolutely cannot bare this excess weight. My anxiety is in overdrive- my whole being feels like a rubber band pulled tight, ready to snap. I can’t even do ONE squat without my knees creaking. I feel weak and floppy and gross. I. Don’t. Want. To. Be. Here. Anymore. I want it gone- off of me. I’m ready.
In the days ahead I know I’ll experience the caffeine and sugar withdrawals, headache upon headache, fatigue, irritability, soreness/body aches, anxiety, depression and emotional instability. You know why?... because I’m an addict. I’m addicted to food, to sugar, to feeding my emotions. But as the days pass I’ll also experience my willpower strengthening, my stomach shrinking, less bloat, an overall sense of pride and with every day that passes I’ll get a little bit of my power back. Power over food, the power of healthy choices and physically my body will become more and more powerful.
This morning I woke up groggy and swollen and exhausted. I shuffled to the bathroom and then realized I had to weigh myself - the neighbors probably heard my gasp as I looked at the numbers for the first time in months. It’s time, it’s past time to do this. I won’t lie, a part of me felt defeated before I even began. BUT I happen to have the best friend anyone could EVER ask for and she sent me a message first thing to encourage me, motivate me and remind me why I want this. She started my morning off with an “I got this!” attitude and I pushed through.  Even though a dull headache stayed with me throughout the day I pushed. I gulped and gulped water all day long. I peed ALL day long. I still pushed. Several times my brain ran through a Rolodex of all the foods I was “missing out on”. I took a breath and mentally redirected my thoughts.
It’s almost 7pm - I’ve consumed 1100 calories today - my LadyBoss shake was epic this morning and helped me with my sweet tooth cravings throughout the day. My tomato basil Harvest snaps where LIFE CHANGING and more than cured my hankering for chips. Tonight I had the most delicious chicken sautéed in a Lite Sundried Tomato Vinegarette with a side of cheesey zucchini rice. I already feel better... do you hear that?? 😳 It’s only  the end of  Day 1 and I already feel better.
Now that you’ve gone through the ridiculousness of my day - I hope you’re still with me - I want to ask you to be my accountability partner. Call me / text me / message me... follow me on FB / IG... ask me if I’m drinking my water, ask me what I ate for lunch (that’s my toughest meal of the day). Call me out. Keep me focused. I want it. I need it. I’ll be here  to post thoughts, updates, recipes and NO they won’t all have to do with weight loss BUT they will all have to do with my journey in this life. The life of an overweight, quirky, 36 year old who talks to kids all day and needs an outlet. I hope you’ll join me. 😘
-J