Challenged, again

So...here we are again... back to "the Challenge". How I slipped so far away from doing well I don't know. Things happened... I lost people close to me... I was betrayed by people I loved... basically, I was hurting and I turned to food. Food has always been my comfort and as good as my intentions are and as much as I condition myself it's always still kinda there. No excuses. That was my motto since last July - stop making excuses to live an unhealthy lifestyle that gets me no where. Stop allowing myself to eat in order to "make myself feel better" ... when at the end of the day all it did was make me feel worse. Stop sitting on my butt when there are a hundred things that need doing. Stop isolating myself because I'm insecure. Stop putting everyone else first 100% of the time and MAKE time for myself. Stop drowning and START living. No excuses... I can and will do this. So what I have to start again. So what I have to re-train by body and my brain. So what I hated today, the first day of the 24 Day Challenge. At least I'm not 294 pounds again. Yes, I just threw that out there for the first time ever and made it "real". It use to terrify me to think that someone might know my weight... but now it drives me forward... makes me work harder to get further away from that number. The highest number I've ever seen on the scale. So I'll take all the positive I can get ... starting with the fact that I am not even close to that number anymore. As I begin this next Challenge I feel lost - I'm definitely ready to do this... but I feel like I've forgotten everything. It's like learning all over again how to eat healthy, I can't really explain it... just seems harder than last time. Today was tough, I won't even sugar coat it... I took two short naps one was because my head was pounding and the second because I wanted to eat... so bad... I was literally imagining all of my favorite foods... absolutely ridiculous I know. But that's how tough it's going to be this time, I HAVE to buckle down and get through it - hopefully those scales move a little in the morning to give be a little boost of motivation. I WAS down 77 pounds... as of this morning I'm only down 50... that's a pretty big difference, bigger than I thought, and I'm angry about it, but I've got no one to blame but myself. So here we go again, I'm determined to get under 200 and you know what... I'm 100% confident that I will. The hardest part is the wait (play on words right there if I ever heard one!)... waiting for the pounds to drop after I put in the effort every day, it takes forever. Some days I want to slam my head into a wall, some days I wanna just throw my hands up and go get a big juicy burger, some days I feel like I'm Queen of the world and I've got willpower for days - it's a battle day in and day out. If you have ever struggled with anything you know where I'm coming from. So today I ask you for help in this battle I've begun... please don't hate me for my thousands of posts here or on FB, keep me accountable, encourage me when you can... just send me a smile or a "you've got this"... trust me, I'm gonna need it. My husband is pretty much my favorite thing on this planet right now. He's decided to begin this Challenge with me - full on by my side. And so we begin our battle.