Never too late

Well hello strangers... I'm baaaaack. It's about dang time, right?! So I'm readin this nifty little book about a girl that was fat (imagine that) and she reminds me a lot of ...  me. So I was thinking I should definitely get back on track with this weight loss challenge even though technically it's suppose to be over in like 2 months and technically I probably haven't lost any weight since I started this blog. Have you ever just been really bad at something? Well... I'm just really REALLY really bad a losing weight. I'm lazy and I don't want to cook healthy meals and I don't want to move my fat butt around and I definitely don't want to do it in any type of public place. I don't want to count calories and not eat that cupcake from Gigi's that I want so desperately. But ALL OF THAT is exactly why I need to lose weight. I'm a blubbery, lazy mess. I literally hate the way I look - I avoid mirrors and shopping for clothes and generally I feel pretty bad about myself. I've always been a big person but it never use to bother me it was just what I was and there were still days I felt pretty, really pretty. Now... I can't even tell you the last time I felt pretty, or like a glimpse of myself in the mirror didn't make me want to throw up. This is all pretty depressing, right? I know... it's actually pretty embarassing to lay it all out there on public display - all these pent up feelings and emotions I have on a daily basis. I've had a lot going on in my personal life for the last 5 years - it's kind of sucked to be blatently honest. I pushed most of my friends away because I just didn't want anyone to see what was really going on - you know, underneath the smiles and the "I'm fines". I'm sure this has all added to my current condition. So ENOUGH... my new motto for each day "Get rid of it - it doesn't belong here. This is your time. No one else's. If it isn't motivating you, then it doesn't belong around you." The "IT" in get rid of it being all the anger and torment and depression and low self-esteem. And the "IT" in if it isn't motivating being people, places, things, food, etc. I don't really care if I can only walk 5 minutes 4 times a day I will get in my 20 minutes and that's where I will start. If you have a healthy recipe that you would like to share email it to me jillianlorek@gmail.com. I WILL try it - I can't promise I'll love it but I'll try it. If you have a smart phone - and the My Fitness Pal app then add ME - JillianLorek. I can use all the encouragement and accountability that I can get. I can do this.... I have to do this.