Food is Fuel, NOT Therapy

Raise your hand if the January BLIZZARD of 2018 made you cheat... well, you don't have to raise your hand sitting there by yourself... but you could just give me a silent nod. Like, yes... I was there with you in spirit, sister.
I was fully prepared to have ONE cheat day of snacking glory and then dive right back into healthy eating. Boy, was I wrong. First of all ,we were not snowed in for merely ONE day... and second of all, I'm just not that strong yet. I can't reign it back in after cheating allllllll day. Maybe after I'm down about 20 pounds and and things don't seem worth it anymore... but right now nope - not I. So this week was a big fat failure. Throughout the weekend I've walked around with my head hanging down - defeated. Then BAM! Facebook decided to be awesome and share a memory from 4 years ago... a memory in which I posted about my weight loss achievement of losing 70.2 pounds (and yes, when you are like me you count those point-whatever ounces). I caved in a little more. Self-doubt crept in, anxiety took hold and I felt the edges around my mental state start to fray. As we've discussed before - I'm an addict, I'm an emotional eater. It's a never-ending disastrous circle - I overeat when I feel bad about myself and I feel bad about myself when I overeat. I 100% feel better when I eat well. I have more energy, my body isn't sluggish and uncomfortable, I am happier and I have a general sense of empowerment. So why isn't it easier? Why can't I crave the foods that make my body feel good instead of my mind? *shrugging* who knows... what I wouldn't give for it to just be that simple. To flip that invisible switch inside my head and begin to love healthy food MORE than un-healthy food... to crave a big steaming bowl of brussel sprouts when I'm feeling low or say hey! congratulations, friend - let's go celebrate over a huge plate of steamed spinach and baked chicken! Yum!! If only, right? This is my battle, my biggest fight - it rages inside of me every single day. I've done it before - I've literally lost 77 pounds because I decided to. I went for it - I battled daily, motivated by pure willpower and encouragement from others. I did it. So now I look myself in the mirror and ask why I'm here AGAIN. Why have I allowed myself to get so far away from where I once was? Do I have it in me to go again? I tell myself I have to. I don't have a choice. This is for my body, my heart, my head and for the ones I love, my family - they deserve a happy and healthy me. So this is me... once again stepping up to the plate.

"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it"

Lucky you... this is a two-fer....
Snacking is essential. And even though I'm eating healthier I still have to snack throughout the day to keep me from getting overly hungry. I find that when I don't snack in between meals I have the urge to binge eat or make a quick and typically unhealthy meal choice. I've written about this before - you remember... make sure and always keep a protein bar in your purse, stay prepared... blah-blah-blah. As redundant as it may be it's important and that's why I feel the need to keep sharing it with you because every single time I'm not prepared I lose it. My willpower and determined mindset fly straight out the window. Bye, girl, bye. And I don't. give. a. crap. Because I'm hangry. Yes, that is real. I want food and I want it now and I want it good. Don't be that unprepared mindless fatty. Just don't.
I can do good ALLLLLLLLLLLLL day - trust me, ask my co-teacher... I will yell at her to back away if she comes at me with anything even resembling a carb, #notworthit. But the very minute I sit down on the couch after dinner I want to snack. I have legit snack attacks. Especially if I haven't eaten enough throughout the day. Sometimes I skip breakfast because I truly have a tough time getting something down in the mornings - blah. Sometimes I skip lunch because I get so busy... I mean who has time for that?! On REALLY bad days I skip both and cram in a couple protein bars. And don't get me wrong - I'm prepared... the prep day happened... the food is there and ready to be consumed, I just fail to put it in my mouth. If any of those SUPER important meals are skipped I have a genuine snack attack around 7pm. It never fails. So... what do I do (when my healthy game is on point)... I snack. I eat an ounce of cheese or 1 tablespoon of peanut butter or one apple or one protein ball - then I take this next really important step - I brush my teeth and pop a stick of sugar free gum in my mouth to get the food OUT of my mouth (and head) and then I move my butt. I can't remain sitting on the couch or else I will continue to snack... in a not so healthy way. That means it's time to fold laundry or organize closets or scrub the bathroom or discover a new DIY project. I hone my inner Bruce and chant to myself "Food is fuel, NOT therapy" (that's a Finding Nemo reference with a twist if you aren't caught up). And sometimes... on days when I'm really weak and I think I just may cave I go take a lavender bubble bath and then I take my hungry blubber-butt to BED. Yes, it may only be 8pm buuuuut sleep sounds better than gaining 2 pounds. Today I prepped the Lorek favorite Almond Flour Blueberry Muffins, Protein Balls and I have apples and nut packs on hand ... because sometimes you just gotta take the lazy route. So the motto of this little blurb is it's okay to snack... just be prepared with healthy snacks, keep an eye on your portion size and then move on. See... we got this!

Fail to Prepare, Prepare to Fail

Most likely you've seen one of my many posts on #mealprep day. I can see how it would be annoying, quite redundant really, to someone who isn't constantly trying to lose a pound, or fifty, on the regular. However, for me it's a must. If I don't prepare my menu and ensure that I have grab-and-go snacks available I will inevitably fail at some point during the week. If anything is left up in the air I will ALWAYS veer off track - I go for easy and painless. I am weak in that way, thus the rolls upon rolls of blubber currently residing on my body. My palate is unique and it takes effort. I cannot eat plain ground turkey and vegetables. I cannot eat sticks of celery with heads of lettuce and sprouts and trees. Here me when I say: I.Will.Hate.My.Life and I will fail. I need savory and different - I need to feel like I'm not missing out on everything. That's why I turn to Pinterest for recipes all day long. If you currently do not have an account or you do not use your account I truly urge you to go there right now and give yourself some time to look around. If you're anything like me you'll get lost in there and make yourself 127 boards real quick. I don't always follow recipes exactly - sometimes I tweak a few things to meet our dietary needs or just our likes vs. dislikes in general. But I love having all those ideas right there at my fingertips and I mean it when I say about 90% of my meal plan ideas come from right there. Pinterest is everything. Heck, jump on there now and send me some recipes you love! I'll be your Pinterest buddy 😃.

When I first began this meal plan madness I attempted to actually MAKE breakfast, lunch and snacks for both of us... that was a hot mess of the cranky kitchen blues. By Sunday evening I hated everything... my feet ached, my hands were dry and cracking from soapy water and my back was giving me a fit. It was something I started to dread each week. Now, I've allowed myself to let go a bit and not have to make every little crumb from scratch. Basically, I cheat. Yep - I eat protein bars and protein shakes and mega-easy things like hard boiled eggs or chunks of cheese as a snack. My workplace is "peanut free"... yes, I could die. Peanut/Nut Butter is life and if I could eat it as a snack all day long I would do just that. Alas... I cannot. Therefore I must get creative with my snacks. Right now Luna Bars are my jam... mostly because I'm just starting out again and they taste like heaven. It's probably not the healthiest thing in the world to eat a Luna Bar a day BUT... it keeps me in check and right now it's my healthy. My snack is portion controlled, keeps me full and makes me smile - what more could you want. This week I'll be eating Chocolate Cupcake Lunas - Whoa!! 😋 Yep, it's true. Last week I had Lemon Zest and I tore those suckers UP. Last week was rough. It was my first week in and I was angry at the world. The sugar/carb/soda withdrawals were epic. I just kept reminding myself what was on the other side of that week... which ended up being 5 pounds of weight loss. We persisted and were rewarded. It won't always be so big - that's first week weight loss, BUT it will always feel good. My body will always move a little easier, my clothes will always fit a little better and I will always have a bit more spring in my step. Every week that the scales moves down will be epic for this girl.

If you know me at all you know I often refer to "that time I lost all that weight" or "when I lost all my weight"... I daydream about those days more than you know. It was special. I lost 77 pounds ... like FAST. It wasn't unhealthy, I didn't have surgery, I didn't take a special "diet pill"... I changed the way I ate and the way I thought about eating. I did use Advocare's 24 Day Challenge and then continued to eat a generally clean diet. I blogged about the whole thing - right here on this very blog... you can go back and read through my journey if you have about 900 hours free and can deal with my personality for that long. My story won me 6 months of free personal training at a gym in Fuquay-Varina. I was brave and I went, even though every nerve in my body screamed NOOOOOOO. I was by no means "skinny" and still very self-conscious about the way I looked. But I went. It changed my life. I worked out. In front of other people. For real. I ran... not fast, not hard, not for long, but I actually ran. I did multiple push-ups. I did box jumps. I did squats... sooooo many squats. I was told I was strong. I believed them. My legs felt like jelly afterwards and I was pushed to my limit every single time but I LOVED it. That girl... that's who I will be again. I have to keep her in the forefront of my mind and power through the rest of the crap weighing me down. Because nothing is worth me feeling like this dumpy blah girl who sank back into herself. I'm not brave anymore and there's no spring in my step. My legs aren't sexy and I don't feel strong. I haven't stepped on the scale in MONTHS... I literally closed my eyes at the doctor's office the other day because I just didn't want those big ugly numbers in my face... I wasn't ready. I'm ready now. You wanna jump in with me?

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And if you're just here for the recipes and are finally glad to be through with all that blah-blah-blah here you go ...

Our Menu this week

Breakfasts: Scrambled eggs + sausage or Yogurt Parfaits (Greek Yogurt + Granola + Fresh berries)

Lunches: Salad or Shakeology

Snacks: luna bars, Almond Flour Blueberry Muffins, raw fruits/veggies, hard boiled eggs

Dinners: Veggie Pesto Pasta, Bacon Cheeseburger Crustless Quiche, Mexican Pizzas (we use tostadas and fat free refried beans), Chicken in Roasted Red Pepper Sauce with Baked Vegetables and Cauliflower Crust Pizza

We do have our little Renn around so I try to make enough things that he will eat that are still "healthy" and FEEL like a bit of a cheat to us, such as the Bacon Cheeseburger Crustless Quiche, Mexican Pizzas and the Cauliflower Crust Pizza.